Be kind to your mind…

May he rest in peace.

Do you ever feel trapped in your own mind? Like it’s a jumbled up ball of yarn that you’ll never find the beginning to end to, with so many knots that grandma may as well scrap the whole scarf?

I want to take some time to speak on mental health, because it is often overlooked, forgotten about or deemed unimportant, especially in today’s society. Mental health is more important than physical health. I said it and I meant it. If you are not taking care of your mental health, you may never achieve physical health. Someone never experiencing a lapse in mental health cannot judge anyone whom is fighting the uphill battle, it hurts enough to go through it, it may even hurt worse to have someone judge you, when they can never understand how you are feeling and why…hell, you don’t even know why.

We as a society don’t tend to take into account what poor mental health looks like. It comes with many different faces: smiles, frowns, but always has the same suffocating feeling behind it. Sometimes, it can feel like you have a fully grown Saint Bernard sitting on your chest. It hurts to breathe, it hurts to move or to smile or to even exist. You may cry silently for reasons you will never understand, or stare off into the distance for what feels like hours trapped in a loop of never ending false statements, “you will never succeed, you’re an idiot, they don’t love you, no one does or ever will”. These are all in your mind. Your family, your friends, if they understood what you felt they would want to shake you.

You still put that smile on though…and go to work…and get things done. It feels…exhausting. Like it is taking every ounce of your soul to move your body and act like you are a functioning member of society, because if you neglect to, you are judged mercilessly by everyone around you. You are called lazy or weak. You are deemed unfit to work in high stress environments, if you’re crying you clearly can’t handle any sort of pressure you’re too, “fragile” I hate that word. It sounds so condescending coming from anyone. Being in a bad state of mind or going through some sh#$ mentally does not make you weak or fragile. You are fighting every single day to understand the jumbled up knitting in your head and you should feel PROUD that you face every single day, despite feeling like your own thoughts are spinning you in circles.

When you feel like the entire world is crashing down around you, the water is on fire and the sky is black, you aren’t alone. You are absolutely never alone. Your friends, your family, even the people you may never expect may be feeling a lot of what you are. We tend to overlook the fact that we are all human and capable of being shaken to our core by negative thoughts, actions or words of others. We all go through unhealthy states of mind where it just feels like we can’t possible drag ourselves back up, but we do, especially with aid from those around us, who despite us not believeing it at the time, would love nothing more than to help you.

Self care comes in many different shapes and sizes for people, it’s isn’t always bubble baths and face masks. Some times it is drinking your coffee on your patio, because it makes you smile or listening to a song on repeat because it makes you dance and forget your issues for a few moments and as hard as it is for me to believe, some people even golf. There is no one size fits all shirt for happiness. I personally try to practice self care EVERY SINGLE DAY whether that be giving myself a compliment, drinking my favorite coffee, enjoying a few moments of silence in the car before a hectic day at work, a lunch outside, whatever the case may be, I try to do things to preserve my mental health every single day.

I’m not advising you to do anything extravagant, I just want everyone to be aware that it truly is the little things that can make all the difference. Surrounding yourself with good people should be included in this list. If you surround yourself with negative, vindictive people, you will unfortunately take on a huge mental task of either trying to change people to feel more positive(and usually ending in anger or disappointment) or morphing into someone who is self sabotaging and becoming, in whole, consumed by the negativity.

To wrap this up, basically what I’m saying is to be understanding of yourself and others when going through mental issues. If you aren’t feeling right mentally and you continue to push yourself or tell yourself to do better when you can barely get out of bed, you need to be more patient with yourself. I know it’s hard to understand, but we need to be kind and understanding with matters of mental health, just as we are with nursing a physically ill person back to health.

As always, thank you for reading and remember that everyday is a great day to get out of bed and try your best.

With love,

E.